HAWAAJAA???

*EDIT*



I forgot to tell you guys about something that happened to me yesterday:

So I came into my room and Essa was sitting there with a picture in her hand.

Essa: She is yo maammy?
Justin: What? *looks at picture*
Essa: Yo girlfriend?

It was this picture:



Except it is just my head and shoulders, because it's for passports.
















Justin: That's definitely me, I had longer hair before.
Essa: OHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA JAAAASTEEEEEN
Justin: Yep
Essa: She is very beautiful!
Justin: "She" is me, Essa. I had longer hair.
Essa: She is your girlfriend?
Justin: No, it's me.
Essa: Yo girlfriend?
Justin: Me. Me. Me. Look, it's me with long hair. *puts picture next to face and puts fingers over face to show long hair*
Essa: You? AHHHHH HAHAHAHA JAAAASTEEEN. She is very beautiful!
Justin: .........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to take this post to address an issue very... dear to my heart.

That is, the issue of "Hawaja"

Hawaja (HAH-WAH-JAH): Pronoun- Disfigured contraction of How and Are and You formed by saying them very fast and pronouncing the Y like a J. Most commonly used by the people of South Sudan when talking to white people, or "Kwatcha"'s. It is a vain attempt at greeting them in their own language, and it is most effectively used in the machine gun approach. Saying it repeatedly as fast as you can so that it will be hammered into their brain.



So I am having a problem. This phrase hitting my ears can be compared to needles peircing my face. Over and over and over and over again.

Every time a group of children here see a white person, they all of the sudden start a competition to see who can say this phrase the most times per second. The average speed it about 10 hps (Hawaja's per second).

So picture hearing a voice that is almost too high for the human ear to hear screaming "HAWAJA?" in your ear.
Now picture that happening every time you go outside, approximately 100 times.
Per minute.
Everywhere.

Walking: HAWAJA?
Driving: HAWAJA?
Sleeping: HAWAJA?
Reading: HAWAJA?
Working: HAWAJA?
Dying: HAWAJA?
Taking a shower: HAWAJA?
Going to the bathroom: HAWAJA?

At first I tried to deal with this with Humor.

Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Kwes (good)
Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Horrible
Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Amazing!
Child:HAWAJA?
Me: I'm dying
Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Never better!
Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Never worse
Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Discontent
Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Ecstatic!
Child: HAWAJA?
Me: Defenestrated!


Unfortunately this got old pretty fast. First of all, I can only think of so many states of being for myself. All of that conversation would have happened in about 10 seconds time. Second of all, there is no one around to appreciate my humor.

So then I tried ignoring them.

Group of children: HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?
Me: *ignores*
Group of children: *grows more frantic* HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?
Me: *continues to ignore*
Group of children: *screaming in desperation* HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?

Now at this point, I could have sworn some of the children were dying from strain and lack of oxygen. I would not have been surprised if the jugular vein of one of the children just exploded. Then of course the rest of the children would just continue.

Then when I was about to get away, one child chased after me, ran in front of me, and with a last (seemingly dying) breath, desperately screamed "HAWAJAAAAAAAAAAA???????" while falling to the ground.

Seeing his desperation, in a moment of "Your faith has made you well" type behavior, I knelt down, looked him in the eye, smiled, and quietly said "Ana kwes" (I'm good).

The look of accomplishment and excitement on his face was one that is unrivaled by any Olympic athlete or Nobel prize winner. He got up, and with wide eyes, ran as fast as he could back to his friends, jumping the whole time and screaming.

Yes, I went soft.

Fortunately I have now found a way to silence them. Mind games.

Well, not really mind games, but just beating them at their own game.

Child: HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?
Me: HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?
HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?
HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?HAWAJA?
Child: *silent, trying to figure out what just happened*

OWNED

See fortunately my yelling voice is scarier and louder than all of theirs put together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I love playing with the children here. Sometimes I go to schools that are really far away, but people will forget about our meeting or something, so I will just play with the kids in the local villages.

I usually have to win their trust for like... an hour before they will actually come shake my hand, because the village children think I will eat them. Sometimes I will lie there like I'm dead until all of them gather around me, and then scream and jump up and cause all of their hearts to stop for a couple seconds. Eventually after a while they realize I am harmless. Though I must say one of the funniest things I have ever seen is when I point at a little boy and he starts running away, then when he's like half a mile in the distance I just point at him again and he starts running again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10 reasons why Sudan is paradise:

1: The toilets never clog
2: You can't freeze to death
3: Your brain won't die from too much entertainment
4: You can marry anyone you want as long as you have enough cows/goats
5: You will never run out of vitamin D
6: You will never be wet for too long
7: The food never has preservatives or other crap
8: You can't become pale
9: No one will comment on you saying "Good" instead of "Well"
10: Your children will never see anything inappropriate on tv or online, nor be obsessed with video games

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guess what time it is?

Time to remake another song!

So this time I chose to remake one of my all time favorite nonsensical songs, This Is Why I'm Hot by MIMS (Music Is My Savior).

Here is the original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVckVtf-7Lk (I am not responsible for the content of that video, I have not watched it. You really don't have to watch the full thing, if you listen to the first thirty seconds you basically have heard it all)

Here is my version: http://www.mediafire.com/?m1zvj2oki3e

Enjoy!

And for all of you people who sing, don't make any comments about my pitch issues. All of the recording for this was done after I had been teaching all day TALKING LIKE THIS so people could understand me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I drank a bunch of ants yesterday after I left my coke bottle sitting open for about an hour.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We found bibles! I called the Bible League in Kampala and at first they said they could not sell us any, but then when I told them more about what I am doing they said they would sell me 800!

So:

Prayer:
~That we would be able to get the money from the states in time to get bibles from Uganda
~That it wouldn't be super expensive to ship them (there are 20 huge boxes)
~That God would give the leaders here the ability to start a bible study during exams
~That God would show me what to do in Dec


Thanks!

P.S. If any of you yell HAWAJA at me when I get back as a joke, I will slap you.