Boda Boda : Glory : Lanch : Blast

So I am going to be using a motorcycle that the Pastor here has soon... But until then I have to use boda bodas. Boda bodas are kids that wait around at a corner on motorcycles and give people rides for 2 pounds (If you are white they will charge you way more unless you are wise and tell them it is 2. Then they will let you pay 2. Or 1.)

Boda: TEN POUND
Me: I pity the fool that makes me pay more than one pound
Boda: Ok
Me: Pays 1 pound

Now that was before I knew that 2 was the standard fee. I figured that if I was good I would just get it as low as possible.

Now picking a Boda Boda is a challenge. You want certain characteristics in a driver and you have to be able to pick one out.

Now most people want one who is:

~Slow
~Careful
~Safer than sorry
~Has a nice motorcycle

Here's my checklist:

~Fast
~Fast
~Fast
~"Brave" enough to pass between two semi's to avoid being stuck behind them for thirty seconds.
~Doesn't look at holes in the road as obstacles, instead looks at them as launch ramps.

See I personally feel much safer with people like this. I have come to see that usually when a Boda drives slow, that means he is a bad driver, and when he drives fast he is very good. I feel way safer going 70 down the road with a good driver then going 10 down the road with a bad driver.

Now it is a challenge to pick which Boda is going to be like this. My best method is simply to look for the most intensely B.A. kid I see with the nastiest motorcycle, then I ask him "Do you go faster than you are supposed to?"

See most kids will say "Oh no no." because they think white people want to go slow. But if they chuckle, give a smile, and say "Ahyi" (yes) then we are in business. As you can guess, these are not easy to find. So I have come to know a couple of them pretty well that I like to drive with, and I look around for them.

So I want to introduce you to my favorite, Sabaah:























Sabaah enjoys:

~Sunsets
~Smiling
~Listening to his heart
~Friendship
~Being responsible
~Rice and beans
~True love
~Crushing other people's dreams
~Looking like he will mess you up
~Messing you up
~Winning
~Laughing at people that are different
~Cutting other Boda Boda drivers off
~Growing chest hair
~Finding the biggest fake diamonds possible and sticking them in his ear
~Winning the record for "Stupidest thing to do on a red motorcyle in Sudan" every single day.

He is smiling in the picture. See it? I tried to get a badder looking picture of him, but he is so bad that he doesn't do anything anyone says so I had to be content with that pose.

I picked him originally because when I asked him if he was too fast, he looked me up and down, threw the ciggarette in his mouth to the side, and said "Let's go".

I had allotted 15 minutes to get where I was going. I was there in 5. I had scheduled out my day for me, and by the time we got two the third thing on the list, we were an hour ahead of schedule. Ballin.

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I would also like to bring everybody's attention to this notice, put up at one of the highschools here:










Now this sign PUMPED ME UP. It made me feel like one of the Spartans on "300". It made me want to buy a chemistry book, join a Sudanese highschool, and take the exam. Cause apparently scoring well on this chemistry test is like winning the freakin Nobel Prize. I mean... the NATION takes notice. And like they said, "GLORY SHALL BE OURS" (I almost peed myself with excitement when I read that part). This is truly something worth committing your life to.

And really you got nothing to lose! Even if you bomb your exam, "Any written information can serve THOUSANDS OF GENERATIONS." So like if a caveman had had one of these books, it would STILL be serving us today. That is return on investment at it's finest.

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So Essa has been becoming more and more controlling as the weeks go by. If she wants me to eat, she makes me eat. If she wants to wash my clothes, she washes my clothes. She will do anything to get what she wants. I was studying at my table, when Essa walks in:

Essa: Welcome to laaanch!
Me: I just ate lunch
Essa: No you eat
Me: I'll eat in a little bit
Essa: No you eat
Me: I will, I just have to finish this.
Essa: You come-a and eat *Walks away*
(ten seconds later)
Essa: *Runs in* YOU EAT LANCH NOW!!!
Me: I will! In a little bit!
Essa: *Smiles* Jaaasteeen *walks away*
(thirty seconds later)
Essa: *Walks in slowly and starts rubbing my back* Jaaaaaaasteeeeen... Yoo eet lanch now... Please... I make and you eat and... pleeeeease... Ahh you feeling baaaaad?
Me: No, I just want to finish what I am doing first and I will
Essa: No. Eat now.

So I went and ate second "lanch"

I have been wearing a certain pair of jeans for the last three days because my other pants are in the wash, and she has come up to me three times practically on her knees begging me to take them off and let her wash them. One time she tried to drag me into my room to get me to change.

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Yesterday I fell in love with Pastor Stanley, the pastor of the church here. Our internet wasn't working so I went and told him

Me: Hey the internet still isn't working
Stanley: Yes... Tomorrow I am going to go up there (to the internet base) and blast them.
Me: *laughs for a long time* Blast them?
Stanley: Yes.

Today I came back and he was on his computer and it was working,

Me: Woah, what happened?
Stanley: *Chuckles and grins* I blasted them. They fixed it very fast

Now I don't know if that is funny to you guys... It made me laugh for a long long time, but I don't know if it holds the same power if you don't know Stanley. I'm still not clear on what "Blasting" someone consists of, but it is obviously effective.