God.
I just got back from Kampala last night, which was a journey that invoked mixed feelings in me.
Let's start with the not so good feelings:
1: Barf
Ok, I know that's not a feeling, it's a noun/verb/adjective (It IS an adjective, ie. "What kind of cake is that? BARF cake.")
But even so, it is what I felt.
Let me tell you what invoked this feeling in me....
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So let's go back to about... 33 hours ago. It's 6:30 in the morning and I am on a large bus packed next to an extraorinarily fat man (for Sudan) and an extraordinarily tall Dinka man (even for sudan).
Actually... first some information. To get to Kampala, you first must ride a 15 passenger van with 20 people in it about 4 hours over miniature-grand-canyon roads to the Ugandan city of Koboko, then you board a large bus for 10-11 hours over somewhat better roads to Kampala. This story takes place on the way back from kampala, so it's the same thing, but reversed.
So back to the story, it's 6:30 and everything is all fine and dandy (I mean, as fine and dandy as things get squished next to a fat guy on a bus with 50 people on it and no a/c in 100 degree weather going over mountinous dirt roads.) I was sitting with the window cracked and I was thinking about how lucky I was.
Then, bored by the long trip, Mr extraordinarily tall man decided this was a great time to blow chunks (For you old people, "Blow Chunks" means "Vomit") into a small plastic bag.
Now, I did not know it at the time, but apparently the deep gutteral sound made by someone throwing up is actually Sudanese for "Hey everybody, let's have a barfing contest!".
So they all began.
Unfortunately I only caught the first round, because I tied a bandanna around my mouth, stuck sound cancelling headphones in, blasted some underoath, and stuck my head out the window (Thankfully I had barely won the window seat by fighting a drunk guy). Judging by the sounds I heard between songs, I would guess there were around 13 rounds of this before everybody ran out of "Juice".
So, oblivious to the chaos inside, I was in my own world outside of the bus. Everything was all fine and dandy again. What I did not know is that on Sudanese buses, the conducters hand out little plastic baggies to everyone who might throw up. I also didn't know that after you use one of these, you simply throw it out the window. You don't even have to tie it up. It makes sure the bus doesn't get all groaty.
Great, right? Except for three fun facts:
1: If a bag isn't tied, whatever is in it flies out.
2: Fast wind makes everything fly backwards
3: My head was out the window, and I was sitting in the back of the bus.
Yeah.
See if you can fill in the blanks!
With a look of _______ on my face, I tried to get my head out of the window, but vomit travels _____er than me. I got _______ all over me. "______!" I said, wiping it off on the fat man's _____. Sudanese vomit tastes like ______.
If you answered "Cotton Candy" for the last blank, you are slightly off.
But besides that, and the fact that my butt is still numb, and the fact that I am sick, and the fact that I was cheated out of $200, the trip was pretty awesome.
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One day while we were there, I put my bandana on my head and unbuttoned couple buttons on my shirt because it was hot.
Barrack: What are you trying to do, be a nigga?
Me: Um... what?
Barrack: A NIGGA
Me: *laughs* Do you know what that is?
Barrack: Someone who is stubborn!
Me: Sure.
Now, why they think that, or why me putting a bandana on my head automatically makes me "Stubborn", I don't know. Later, after being called a "Nigga" about 30 times by everyone around me, I decided to take the bandana off.
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Now, I have witnessed deception at it's finest.
A very common thing here is Picture Posters. They are posters with pictures all over them and explinations, usually centered around one person, like a musical artist.
Surprisingly, most people here don't understand the concept of digital photo editing, and they believe that if a picture shows it, it must be true. So whoever makes these pictures takes serious advantage of everyone here.
I have compiled a list of a couple rules that anyone who knows how to edit photos can take advantage of:
1: If two pictures are next to each other, they must be related.
Example:
Now as long as the person in the picture is in a pose that makes them look like they might be somewhat famous, it must be true.
2: If a head is on a body, it belongs there
Example:
Woah!
3: Whatever is written on a poster is true. No exceptions.
Example:
Wow! What a guy!
So there are some pretty funny ones here. One of the popular artists here, Lakadube, died recently, and some of the posters showed George Bush with his face in his hands and the caption read "George Bush mourning the loss of Lakadube"
Yep, he was THAT good.
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I wanted to let everyone know (So that you won't mistake me for someone else at the airport) that my arms and face have gotten about 20 shades darker since I got here. If you look at my arm next to my stomach, it is like putting dirt on a white table. For serious. I will put a picture up soon.
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Today we went to sell the bibles (the only reason we are selling them is because if someone gets something for free, they will not value it. We only sell them for one pound (40 cents) and we use all the money to buy more bibles) and we almost got killed. Literally, we almost incited a riot.
We were at a huge solid wood table, and because of how many people were pushing in to try to get one, our table broke.
We ran out.
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Pray:
~That I would know what to do next month
