JAAAASTEEEEEN!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

What to say, what to say?

I know I don't post very much serious stuff on here... I am sorry. I just have a hard time talking about serious stuff to a computer. And when my mind is thinking in a serious way I am usually doing something besides posting a blog. But I know you guys want to know, so I will try to tell you a little bit:

So I have started a discipleship program for the students here. I am training 10 students from each of the 7 schools around here for a month, and then they are each going to start their own group of 5-10 people. So at the end of Nov, I hope to have 70 small groups going. In these groups people read a passage from the bible together, then they discuss it until they know what it means, then they find some way to apply it to their life. I have tried it out on a couple small groups of 3 people so far, and it has worked really well.

I have also been going around to each of the schools and speaking at their church groups about the importance of letting our minds be shaped by the word of God. I have learned a (really bad) Nigerian accent (which really isn't Nigerian at all, it's like... a mix of Arnold Schwarzenegger and an English man... Don't ask me to do it for you), and that has allowed most people here to understand what I say. Unfortunately I have to picture myself being a Nigerian to speak with it, and that makes me adopt the mannerisms of one too... Which means I preach like a black person. Anyway, at the schools, I give them a simple three step process, complete with hand motions! (Thanks to Daniel King, who advised me to do that)

1: READ (Put hands like you're holding a bible)
2: UNDAA STANDI!!![Understand] (Put fingers to head)
3: DOOEEET!!!!!!! [Do it] (Punch the air)

I have had kids come up to me and scream the three steps in my face and give me a huge smile a whole week after I spoke at their school.

The only problem is with Bibles... People here don't have them, and can't afford them. Thankfully I have all you guys back there to help out. I posted a note on facebook about it and God has already provided so much! Check the note out here for more information.

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I want to dedicate this section to my best friend here, Daniel.






This kid is like... Me. He is weird, and runs around the compound making strange sounds, and his love language is violence just like me. He steals and breaks my stuff every time I leave my room, enjoys throwing expensive things on the ground, kicking me really hard, spitting on me, and putting huge grasshoppers on me when i'm not looking. Whenever I come back from somewhere and see him in the yard he yells "JAASTEEEN!!!" and throws whatever is in his hand at my head (with deadly accuracy), typically a stick or an orange. I wouldn't have it any other way. At the end of the day he comes and hugs me for like ten minutes straight saying "Jaaasteeen.... Jaaasteeen.... Jaaasteen..." over and over again. I could hang out with him all day.


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Speaking of "Jaaaasteeen", it has become very popular here for people around the house to say that... it's like in a "oh, you!" kind of way. I don't even get it.

Me: Hey is dinner ready?
Essa: Ya ya!
Me: Awesome! Thanks!
Essa: AAAAAAAHAHAHA... JAAAASteeeeeeeeeen...

Me: Hey have you seen Pastor?
Vicky: Aaaaaaaaaah... Jaaaaaaaaasteeeen...
Me: ?
Vicky: Jaaaaasteeeen...
Me: ?
Vicky: *walks off*

Me: *walks by*
Essa (to her friends): There goes my saaan! (son)
Me: *Smiles*
Essa and friends: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahaha.... Jaaaaaasteeeen! *continues saying that for the whole time I am walking up to the gate and out*

Essa: Eat yo foood now!
Me: I'm gonna eat when I get back
Essa: AHAHAHAHAA JAAAAASTEEEEN!!!!
Justin: What?
Essa: Walks off mubling "jaaaasteeen, Jaaaasteeen, Jaaaasteeen..."

Me: Have you seen my camera?
Deborah: JAAAASTEEEEN!
Me: Hi, have you seen my camera?
Deborah: JAAAASTEEEEN!!
Me: Hi... Have you seen my camera?
Deborah: JAAAASTEEEEEN!
Etc....


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Today I was reading my bible on my bed and all of the sudden I heard someone screaming bloody murder outside my window. So I jumped out my window (No, I didn't think about using my door) and went to see what it was. Across the large barbed wire fence that separates this compound from the village next to it, one woman was beating the snot out of another one with a large stick. Like a stick the thickness of her wrist and the length of her thigh. And I don't mean just hitting her with it, I mean beating the snot out of her with it. As hard as she could, frantically. A bunch of people were crowded around, but no one was doing anything about it. Then another woman came with a stick and I thought "Good, she will break it up." But then she just joined the other girl in the beating.

Now this leaves me in an interesting predicament. Normally if I saw anything of this sort I would jump in and stop it right away. But here in Sudan things are different... a couple times I have broken up fights and been told harshly by someone in authority to never do it again, and to let the people settle their own disputes, that the culture here is much different, and they don't take kindly to white people butting into their problems. Now if this was a man beating a woman... There is nothing in the world which would have stopped me from stopping it. But this was a woman and another woman. Usually in this situation I would have disregarded anyones advice and stopped it, but I am trying this new thing called "Listening to older people" which is greatly encouraged in the bible.

But no one was stopping her... no one was doing anything. Before I could decide what to do, she had stopped beating her. Then as I was trying to ask some people what was going on, I saw the girl who had been beaten pick up a garden hoe and rush the other one with it. I started running through the barbed wire, but before I got through, another woman ran and took her OUT. Like tackled her so hard her feet flew up in the air.

After that the girl got up and ran away screaming. I think her fingers were broken.

I don't know if I did the right thing or the wrong thing... Like, the woman was being beaten for a long time, and sometimes on the head. She could have died. Her fingers were twisted different ways...

Do I defend the defenseless, or listen to my elders?

I don't know. This was the first time I had ever made the decision NOT to defend someone before, and now that I have, I don't feel good about it.

What would you do?

Ever wanted to be a worship leader? Come to Sudan.

Fun facts:

~I ate goat intestines about thirty minutes ago and they were very good.
~It's hard to drive a motorcycle in complete darkness, but very fun.
~Mosquitos aim for my eyes.
~If you smack a mosquito when it's on your eye, subsequent eye pain far outweighs the glory of vengeance.
~The feeling of a gecko trying to jump out of a toilet which you are covering with your butt is unpleasant.
~It's hard to "#2" standing up.
~Bamboo poles don't break over your head, no matter how hard you hit them against it.
~If you are standing on a stage and you reach your arm out over a large crowd of people, someone will probably try to pull you in.
~Drunk soldiers with firecrackers and bicycle chains don't like people yelling at them.
~If you lend in-ear headphones to someone who has never heard of cleaning their ears, the headphones will magically change color.


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One of the things I really want to do is bring Sudanese worship songs to the United States. I thought the best thing to do would be to teach you guys how to write them, so I wrote this handy dandy guide:

The Handy Dandy Guide to Sudanese Worship Song writing.

1: Think of a line that has to do with God
2: Add any tune you want
3: Scream it until your lips get numb

It's easy! Here is a real life example, my favorite:

"Jesus, you are the king of Africa"

Lyrics:

Verse 1:
Jesus, you are the king of Africa! (repeat x4)

Prechorus:
Jesus, you are the king of Africa! (repeat x2)

Chorus:
Jesus, you are the king of Africa! (repeat x4)

Verse 2:
Jesus, you are the king of Africa! (repeat x4)

(repeat chorus)

Verse 3:
Jesus, you are the king of Africa! (repeat x4)

(repeat chorus)

Bridge:
Jesus, you are the king of Africa! (repeat x4)

(repeat chorus x2000 or until you pass out)

It's that easy! Anyone can do it!**





**does not include persons that are mute, dead, or are for any reason unable to perform the following actions: "screaming, "thinking", "speaking", or "repeating".


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So the team came in this week, and in the last few days the conference that I have been working to advertise happened. Over 5000 people have decided to give their lives to Christ so far! It has been really awesome this last week, and I am looking forward to an amazing next two months here. I am working on my Sudanese accent so I can be more easily understood by the people here, you have to speak in a very special way for them to be able to understand you.

The blackist wife/wives in town

I know I am continually changing my favorite things to do in the world... but the stuff just keeps getting better.

At first, it was driving dirtbikes in Sudan.

Then it was driving dirtbikes with no brakes in Sudan.

Now it is officially riding dirtbikes driven by drunk people in Sudan.

That's right.

I was visiting my friend in a far village here in Yei, and walked all the way there. But by the time I got done visiting I was tired and needed to get back fast, so I waved my hand to be picked up by one of the many dirtbike drivers here. One of them pulled aside and when I told him where I was going he said it would only cost two pounds! So of course I accepted, it was about three miles away. I got on, adjusted my butt to be somewhat comfortable, then proceeded with flying down the back roads of Yei at what I would guess to be 45-50 mph. That might not seem like fast for America... To get an accurate idea, picture driving a motorcycle at 45 down the side walk in New York (But bomb the street first).

Needless to say, I was thrilled... yet I was perplexed. Even I would not do what this man was doing. (He was very good at it too). Then I smelled the strong smell of jeezy juice (aka. Crunk juice, aka. Booooooozy, aka. Alcohol) coming from his open mouth in front of me.

"What did you do next?" You might ask.

Well obviously the logical thing, I told him to stop and I got off. Of course I didn't ride all the way home like that. Of course I didn't tell him he was an awesome driver and ask if he would be around town much to drive me around. That would be stupid. I would never do that. You should know me better. Shame on you for even letting that thought cross your mind.

You heathen. Don't judge.

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Anyway...

Onto the title track of this post:

I was eating dinner with Anthony and my other friend named "Koo Koo" (I think it's spelled differently but that's how it's pronounced.

Anthony: *eats some green slimy stuff* so Justin, are you going to get married in Sudan?
Me: Hahaha no, I told you I have a girlfriend back in the US.
Kookoo: Do you not like black woman?
Me: *ignores Kookoo*
Anthony: No no no, you must marry here. We will find you the blackest wife possible. You will go back to the United States and your friends will ask you "Is she even a human???"
Me: We have black people in the United States.
Essa (passing by): It's true!
Me: Yep, and like I said, I have a girlfriend, look: *Shows picture of Kenzie*
Anthony: *Stares* Ohhhhh
Kookoo: *Stares a bit too much*
Me: *Snatches it away*
Anthony: Well then you can just have both!
Me: Huh?
Anthony: If you have many cows, you just marry both of them.
Me: Cows? Um...
Anthony: *Explains how you give 7 or so Cows to the family of the girl you want to marry, and she is yours*
Me: That's not really how it works in America... It is illegal to have more than one wife.
Kookoo: WHAT??
Anthony: My grandfather had over a hundred wives! He was a cheif, he did not even know his own children when he met them on the street.
Kookoo: *Plays out Anthony's grandfather meeting one of his kids and asking who his father was*
Anthony: They told me the homes of his family went for miles and miles, and that he would go around from house to house and give each wife two hours.
Me: Two hours?
Anthony: For playing sex! *grins*
Kookoo: Now that is just prideful...
Me: *Falls on the ground laughing (rolling in chicken poop)*

The team comes tomorrow!!

Woooooo!!

(Sorry if your small children are reading, if they are now might be a good time to have the old "What playing sex is" talk with them.)

Who does "birthdays" anymore anyways?

My entire birthday experience in Yei:

Me: Hey it's my birthday today!
Essa: Ok.

Me: Guess what?
Anthony: *doesn't guess*
Me: It's my birthday today!
Anthony: Oh! Will you buy me some candies?
Me: No.
Anthony: Oh

Then I ate way too much food and spent the night fighting invisible mosquitos, hearing my parents call my name, and thinking my room was trying to kill me. (Crazy pills)

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Essa is feeding me far too much.

This morning she left me two loaves of bread for breakfast, which I ate. Then when I was about to leave, she grabbed me and started yelling(lovingly)

Essa: WHY YOU NO EAT BREAKFAST??? I MAKE IT AND YOU NOEAT!!!
Me: I did! I am so full!
Essa: No look!

Then I look in and there is a huge plate of...

Yep, you guessed it: Spicy chicken wings. For breakfast.

Essa: You eat! Grow big!

Anyway... if anybody was worried I would lose weight here...worry no more. I have chicken wings. And ants. I'm actually starting to not mind ants in my food. They are so small and so nutricious. (spell check)

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Today I also found out that...

1:...Some cute pet monkeys are mean and like to bite me.
2:...the person who's motorcycle we have been using doesn't like us anymore, so we can't use it. 3:...Anthony borrowed one from someone else for free!
4:...(while driving it) our new one is missing a couple parts.
5:...those couple parts are both brakes.
6:...you can't stop without brakes.

Me (driving down hill too fast): Anthony, why is it not stopping?
Anthony: Because that uh... thing... is not working.
Me: You mean the brakes?
Anthony: Yes, that one.
Me: Heh... heh... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Aren't those... kind of important?
Anthony: *grins* Yes!


Fun times, fun times.

*edit* Do you have trouble knowing where, and where not to urinate? Do you find yourself embarrased, confused, and in despair because you have accidentally urinated on something you weren't supposed to? Your friend's flower garden, your friend's dog, your friend's leg... It can get very confusing trying to decide what is ok, and not ok to urinate on. We know.

That's why here in Sudan, we empathize with you. We make it clear where to urinate.

I will drive by faith, and not by physics, natural laws, or any kind of logical reasoning

So I have found a new favorite pastime: Near death experiences in Sudan.

And of course by that I mean "Driving a motorcyle here."

Many of the places me and Anthony have to travel here are up to five miles away. The first time we just walked. The first time I also almost passed out.

Many people here drive motorcyles. There are not any normal brands, just ones like "Senke" or "Xingxaiong". They are not exactly suited for the terrain here... But then I don't think anything save a mountain goat on crack cocaine with a death wish is suited for the terrain here, so I guess it makes no difference.

I am kidding, of course. Kind of.

It's not that bad, it's like this:

Take a motocross track. Now throw multiple bombs on said motorcross track. Now let a large herd of dinosaur walk a couple laps around said motorcross track. Then pour 4 swimming pools on it, and let natural lakes form. Next tell a bunch of people to walk around the track. Then take some of those people and secretly tell them "The object of this game is to jump in front of motorcycles! Go win!" Next put some really old men on bikes, attach 10 foot poles sideways on their backs, and set them loose. For good measure, tell them that if they hear a horn, they need to swerve towards it.

Oh, then throw in a bunch of blind dogs who think they will be the victors in a clash between them and a frieght train, and train them to hate... everything.

Now drive a motorcyle five miles on the track and see what happens.


So anyway... Me and Anthony rented a motorcyle to use. He drove to the first school, and then, after I told him I am very good at this and I drive them all the time in the US, he let me drive to the rest of them.

Now, I don't know why I love dangerous things so much. There is some kind of amazing joyful feeling I get from doing things I know could possibly hurt me very badly. I think if I were being hunted through tall grass by velociraptors on ATVs (my greatest fear) my main problem would be laughing too much. Of course stuff is scary when I first start, but then I reach the point where I realize that I don't have to fear death, it just becomes so comical and thrilling. I have actually had some of my closest times with God in these moments, when I see death for what it is and, seeing it's power is gone, laugh. I really hope that there is some deep, godly character trait that causes me to be like this instead of some stupid immature one (like most things I do are the cause of). I don't know what trait that might be...

I have to go, because this place is closing, but I want to leave you with a quote (which I will translate)

Context: Me and Anthony were in front of a large class of highschoolers telling them about the conference happening in a week, and how there is a Karate team there. Translations in ( )

Anthony: You know! There is there even a Boxer group of students! They play... what do you call it? Kung foo! They are shoot a log and make it to peices! They can shoot you and you will make to peices! They are born again christians!
Student: But... How can a born again be a Karate?
Anthony: Because they are born again!

Apparently the student was satisfied with that answer... Personally I didn't see the logic.

The culture here is so amazing though... while we were doing one talk, the principal raised his hand and asked:

Principal: But how will you be feeding 1000 people?
Anthony: You see because in the bible it say "The sparrows get what they need to eat". And we are better than sparrows! Jesus will feed us!
Principal: Ahhhh, ok!

Like the principal accepted that as an answer. I was picturing the same thing happening in the Public School System in america...

Got to go! Place is closing! I have a funny picture for you but I will post it later!

My birthday is tomorrow!!!! I get to turn 18 in SUDAN!! WOOOOO!!!!!


Justin

Just stay here next to my bed and scream your lungs out while I sleep

So I don't have a ton of time on here (It takes a while to get back into the intelligent english speaking mindset, so responding to emails takes a while).

I know that you guys may be thinking "Wow, Justin is going to die because he has no one to mommy him anymore." But you are wrong.

My cook, Essa, has taken the place of my Mom, Kenzie, and Trevor. She tells me when to eat, what to eat, when I need to change clothes, what clothes I should change into, and when I should go to bed... all without budging. I don't want to argue with her, because she makes my food. Even though I am pretty sure what she is already feeding me consists of chicken guts and malaria water, I know it could be worse. (It tastes good, I just don't dare question what it is, I went in the kitchen the other day and saw her taking some kind of chicken innards and frying them, and it looked just like my food). She calls me her son too. When the other ladies ask what she is doing, it is always "Cooking food for my son." or "washing my son's clothes" or "telling my stupid son which water he can drink" (I can't drink the rain water, only the malaria water). I love her though, she even stirred my sugar for me when I showed her there were ants all over it <3>

What is really weird is that even though I am in this third world country with people who don't even have enough food, God is still breaking my heart for the youth of America. By seeing the youth here at this church I am beginning to realize that we in the US are, in fact, the unlucky ones. The ones born into a culture of over indulgence and immorality. I am questioning whether I want to raise my children in the US.

I finally uploaded some pictures, so here you go:

This is what most of Yei looks like.

These are the two pastor's kids, Daniel and Rebecca, they are almost always in my room. I know how to tell them to bring me something, to leave something alone, and to dance in Arabic, and they sometimes follow my commands. They have a habit of eating dirt and stealing everything dear to me, like my camera, shoe, towel while I am in the shower, candy, etc. . They also have a habit of trying to get their terrified friends to sneak up to me and touch me. Rebecca almost always makes them cry because she forces them to touch me when they don't want to, breaking them emotionally. I think some of them are starting to get more comfortable though. The last picture is Rebecca trying to imprison Daniel in my guitar case.

A Gecko I caught and then Rebecca almost killed.

Do you recognize this guy? You should, because it is me.

I know I look different, but that's what the Sudanese sun does. Don't hate.

This (not to be mistaken for the picture above, which is me) is my roommate, "Evangelist Tambrat". He is the happiest person I have ever met and makes me fall on the floor in happiness sometimes. He has started 7 churches in Uganda but he acts like a little kid. His response to everything I say is "HALLELUJAH!! PRESS THA LOD!" He also forces me to drink tea in the morning and eats half of the food Essa makes me, which I don't think he is supposed to. He acts like he understands me a lot, but most of the time he doesn't really.

Tambrat: *Opens food container to see I have eaten all of the oranges*

Me: Oh sorry man, I didn't know you were coming back

Tambrat: *smiles really big and shakes his hands* I am FREE!!

Me: Good!

Tambrat: PRAISE THE LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Hahahaha yes! I ate all the rice too...

Tambrat: PRAISE GOD!! I AM FREE!!!

Me: Awesome, bye!

This is a poster at the place I buy my Cokes. If you can't read what it says, it's "JOKING WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S WIVES IS LIKE COMMITING SUICIDE." I don't know why I found that worth taking a picture of, maybe because "Joking around with other people's wives" is so common in America, so it was good to see the truth. If someone ever "joked" with my wife, I would definitely be chasing after his half-naked self with MY machete.

I know those aren't the kind of pictures people wanted, but they are the kind I like to take, I will take more of the kind normal people like later.

Love you guys!

Justin

P.S. For some reason when people comment my blog it gives me inexplicable joy.

"Yes" is the answer to all questions.

I made it!

These last two mornings I have woken up with the same feeling I do when I am at home... Then I realize I am in Africa. It has not yet failed to make me laugh for like ten minutes.

The base here is amazing. We drove here and I was greeted by (approximately) a billion kids. The food here is actually pretty good. I was prepared for the worst, but so far I have had chicken and bread and rice. I had sugar, but crazy ants got it (not american kind, african kind. If the american kinds are little babies, the kind here are crackheads). The only thing that has weirded me so far is when I tried to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and about a dozen roaches were on it.

Sorry I am kind of delirious right now from the travel, and maybe from the food or climate, so I might not make much sense...

I had a really good time with all of the kids yesterday, a huge crowd of them gathered around me, and one made a face at me, so I made a face back. That is when they became my followers to the death. Not really, but they pretty much regard anything I tell them to do as the best thing ever. Yesterday about 75 of them and me had a huge dancing/singing/beatboxing and rapping party for like 2 hours.

I am also having a hard time with people understanding me. Here are a couple sample conversations that show how most communication goes:

Me: How are you?
Anton: Yes
Me: Cool

Cook (Running into my room): Do the chickens carry you???
Me: I think so
Cook: GOOD!

Me (speaking to my roommate, named "Evangelist Tamkar"): So what do you think is peoples main problem here?
Tamkar: The bible says in Isaiah 61: "The spirit of God is upon me to preach to the poor!"
Me: Awesome!

The reason for the title is that people say "yes" to most things I ask.

Me: Where can I get some clean water?
Cook: Yes

Me: Can I drink this water?
Anton: Yes
Me: Really? Are you sure?
Anton: No

So anyway, I am having a good time so far. Yesterday i was mainly resting, but today I am going to visit one of the school churches, and getting a sim card for my phone.

I will get back on later in the week, and hopefully not be so clueless.

Justin